:PROFILE [image:https://slatesource-media.s3.amazonaws.com/2/3/c/23c3e64e-a603-44bb-968d-5c062f49c767.webp?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Date=20260713T000629Z&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Credential=AKIA6PWPI77XKVCG2MNW%2F20260713%2Fus-east-1%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Expires=21600&X-Amz-Signature=e31b801ec274caebed30517f24270bd6ab79e60f64eff118cfe41a69088cf934]
Biscuit
Bristol, England
Golden Retriever, home since 14 March 2026. Full time sock thief, part time good boy. 

:INFO
The Adventures of a Very Good Boy
Biscuit arrived at eight weeks old weighing almost nothing and convinced he owned the house. Four months later he weighs a great deal more and is still convinced. He learns a new word roughly every week, forgets it during dinner, and greets the postman like a long lost brother. This is his page. Everything about him lives here.


:STATS

:TIMELINE
🐾 From coat pocket to full grown chaos
2026-03-01 | Gotcha day. Came home in a towel, slept the whole car ride, woke up owning everything.
2026-04-01 | First proper walk. Was defeated by a single autumn leaf, then befriended it.
2026-05-01 | Learned to sit. Uses it exclusively when he already wants to sit anyway.
2026-06-01 | First swim at the beach. Barked at the sea, then decided it was the best thing ever.
2026-07-01 | Fetch, mostly. He brings the ball back to a spot near you and calls it even.

:MAP
51.44,-2.63,Ashton Court, the big field for zoomies
51.346,-2.977,Weston beach, where he met the sea
51.381,-2.359,Grandma's house in Bath, home of the good biscuits

:GALLERY [displaystyle:grid]

:QUOTE [quotetype:plain, subtitle:Biscuit's human]
He is ninety percent ears and ten percent trouble, and I would not change a single hair.